Local pubs are closing and beer prices in the remaining few are rising. Luckily local shops are supplying feral chav scum with enough cheap lager to keep local residents bolted in their homes, afraid to go outside. Local Police Chief, John Flop, was recently criticised for not doing more to stop youths drinking in public and moving around in large groups. He responded by stating that…
“We’ve locked the local park, so now they can only get pissed up in the day. If we find them hurling abuse at passers-by and drinking huge amounts of cheap beer from back-packs we go into the parks and tell them off whilst wagging our finger at them in a very naughty way. It’s the way forward.”
Many locals have blamed a lack of local services and activities with some parents calling for a youth club or similar. Joan Strumpet, a mother of 8 children, told us..
“When my 14-year-old kids come home at 4 in the morning smelling of booze I know that they’re simply having a good time. They tell me that the knives are just for protection, so that’s OK. I don’t see what the problem is, as long as they get out the house so that one of my boyfriends can come over then I couldn’t give a sh*t”.
However, local resident Mary Jufflelup stated that..
“The little f*cking c**ts do whatever they want. The parents don’t give a rats arse and the coppers have no power to do anything. We should get back to the old days where the police can come down, whack them round the head with a truncheon and kick them all the way home. They’ve got no friggin’ respect those kids and no-one is stopping them or telling them what respect is. I’ve seen gangs of them shouting abuse at pensioners going to the shops. Even the girls will come out and swear at passers-by for no reason at all.
Personally I’ve bought one of those taser guns of eBay – I zap the little sh*ts when I go up to Sankeys Corner. When they’ve had 50,000 volts rammed through them it soon shuts them up. Oh, and as for not having any youth clubs, look what they did to the school – they set fire to it ! Get some national service on the go and teach them to respect people. They’re nothing but utter pond life but everyone is prepared to just shrug their shoulders and ignore it. B*stards”
