Burntwood tax payers may find themselves out-of-pocket following issues with the dam at Chasewater. The costs to repair the dam have been set at £2.5 million, and our earlier story has already detailed some of the opinions of local residents who state that it should be done no matter what the cost.

However, we’ve been in contact with the “Go away dam. Damn you. Action Group”, who believe that the costs are simply too high and residents should receive support from the Government. Campaign Manager, Mr Soft, told us…

“Have you been to Chasewater recently? They’re draining it. There’ll be no water left soon. In my mind, that’s the problem sorted.”

However, many residents and local groups use Chasewater for water sports and boating. The lack of a local pool would remove a precious local park and a popular attraction, not to mention the supply of water to local canals. When challenged Mr Soft stated that..

“Go up the A5 and there’s a reservoir at junction 12 if you want to splash about in the water. I say let’s drain it, take all those old World War II bombs out and drop a few on the rough bits of Brownhills. We could then build a raceway or something similar. Come on, imagine it – instead of the Daytona 500 we could have the Burntwood 500. It’d be like Hednesford Raceway, but with more popcorn and lots of beer. Beer is key. You can never have too much beer. Lovely lovely beer. Down into my belly.. down it goes.”

Mr Soft exclusively revealed plans to build the raceway after his company was approached by the owners of a local toll motorway.

“I decided to head up the campaign group initially because of the extra cost to our local council, but recently I’ve been approached by a third party who are interested in buying the site after it’s drained. They’ve apparently got pots of money from a toll road operation, but I can’t reveal more than that. Once the raceway is built we’ll be charging the race-car drivers for each lap though, so they’ll each have a tag in their cars. We’ll be f***in minted.”